The last few days have been hard. There’s been many points in the day I’ve wanted to break down. I’m trying my best to hold everything together and I’m incredibly proud of myself because it’s fucking hard.
The last few months I’ve learnt to love myself, to enjoy time by myself and ultimately to help my mental health. Being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at 22 years old is a strange feeling. Everything you know about yourself is gone and I just didn’t know who I was. Every relationship since then I moulded myself into the other person because I didn’t know who I should be. Slowly I’m working out who I am and not who other people think I am or who I’d like to be. Once I’d accepted who I am so many aspects of my mental health improved and I really felt an internal happiness that I hadn’t in so long.
Things have been so great and I was just waiting for the fall to come, I didn’t think it would be this soon though. Although I’ve been looking after myself, I still don’t know exactly what I need when I’m like this. Depression is hard, and while I haven’t self harmed in such a long time I still haven’t figured out a positive plan to take. It’s hard to know instinctively what to do to because most of the time it feels like the pain will never end, but I know it will, it has before.
Until things improve I’m going to continue to push for self growth and maybe I’ll hug myself a little tighter at night.
Soph
x
bladesbeatsandbpd 