I took a look back today and it hurt like hell. It’s hard not to think about people that left your life but if you’ve got abandonment issues it’s one million times worse when you do.
Many of the people that have left me behind have done so with no reason at all, leaving me to think that it’s just because I’m not worth spending time with. As much as you work on those feelings and build yourself back up, the next person leaving is like a brick being pulled out from the bottom of a wall and everything else coming tumbling with it.
I lost the most incredible friend when my last breakup took place and I’ve craved for it back for some time but I know I shouldn’t. I know I deserve better than someone who isn’t going to give me their love and attention. The heartbreaking part of my look back was seeing how well they are coping without me. I’m easily replaceable and meant very little to them.
I know I shouldn’t keep holding on. I’ve learnt that lesson already. I just don’t know how to listen to myself. That’s the lesson I need to learn. And I will, with each person that abandons me I learn that I’m a stronger, more cabable person who is beginning to love spending time with herself and becoming braver than she ever imagined.
Sophie
x
bladesbeatsandbpd 